David Letterman came out retirement to roast Donald Trump at a show featuring Martin Short and Steve Martin.(Photo: Pablo Martinez Monsivais, AP)
Even retirement can't keep David Letterman from expre ssing his thoughts on Donald Trump.
The longtime late-night host took the Majestic Theatre stage on Friday in San Antonio to poke fun at the presidential candidate â€" and frequent butt of Letterman jokes over the years â€" during a show featuring showbiz pals Steve Martin and Martin Short. It was Letterman's first appearance since ending his 22-year run on CBS' Late Show in May.
"I know you're saying to yourselves, 'Why is he here?' " a bearded Letterman told the excited Texas crowd. "By the way, I am so happy to be out of the house."
After joking that he realized he retired too early after hearing Trump's recent public fumbles â€" "I have made the biggest mistake of my life, ladies and gentlemen" â€" Letterman pulled out one of his signature Top 10 Lists called "Interesting Facts About Donald Trump."
Among the highlights:
"No. 10: That thing on his head was the gopher in Caddyshack."
"No. 9: During sex, Donald Trump calls out his own name."
"No. 7: He wants to build a wall? How about building a wall around that thing on his head?"
"No. 4: Trump would like all Americans to know that thing on his head is free range."
"No. 3: If president, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, plans to evict the family on Thanksgiving."
"No. 2. Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he's starring in a new movie entitled No Amigos."
In addition to taking a selfie with Martin and Short, Letterman took a loving shot at the three aging me n â€" "It looks like a Flomax commercial, doesn't it?" â€" and also quipped that he first met the two comedians in Hollywood "at a Scientology mixer."
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